Unome831

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    • Name: Terra
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 1/4/2010

Monday, 19 September 2011

  • Let's be honest. Ethics is not for wimps. It's not easy being a good person. It's not easy to be honest when it might be costly, to play fair when others cheat, or to keep inconvenient promises. It's not easy to stand up for our beliefs and still respect differing viewpoints.

    It's not easy to control powerful impulses, to be accountable for our attitudes and actions, to tackle unpleasant tasks, or to sacrifice the now for later. It's not easy to bear criticism and learn from it without getting angry, to take advice, or to admit error. It's not easy to feel genuine remorse and apologize sincerely, or to accept apologies graciously and truly forgive.

    It's not easy to stop feeling like a victim, to resist cynicism, or to make the best of every situation. It's not easy to be consistently kind, to think of others first, to judge generously, or to give the benefit of the doubt. It's not easy to be grateful or to give without concern for reward or gratitude.

    It's not easy to fail and still keep trying, to learn from failure, to risk failing again, to start over, to lose with grace, or to be glad of another's success. It's not easy to look at ourselves honestly and be accountable, to avoid excuses and rationalizations, or to resist temptations.

    No, being a person of character isn't easy. That's why it's such a lofty goal and an admirable achievement.

    I wear a scarlet letter of being a adulturer based off of an opinion of what happened in my rape. My soon to be ex hubby states that I am the worst type of person. Someone who cheats on their spouse. He states this is what makes it easy for him to stop loving me and that I can justify what happened any way I wish to make my self feel better but I will not justify a lie. I live each day under the idea that  I am in fact a good person dispite what he may think of me.

    To all who read this, I stand by the fact that being a good person is a life long goal. That  no one person can be perfect in every situation but that if you try to hold yourself accountable on your emotions and actions that you too are a good person. No body can take that from you.

Thursday, 14 July 2011

  • God Bless America

    AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD 


    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown  Savannah  night before last.
    Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m.  E.S.T.


    I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.


     First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!


     I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
     After I called your mother or " Mom ma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
     I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
     I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.


     Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
     The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
      ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

    Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,


    Alex

Saturday, 26 February 2011

  • I kind of always knew I'd end up your ex girlfriend

    I was unpacking more stuff this morning and I came across a metal suitcase that I have been hauling around for years. I smiled, know that it is my 'Boyfriend Box' and I opened it to see what was inside. I couldn't help but smile to see all of the things that reminded me of all those boys that have come and gone. Love letters, id's, photo's, and gifts just stuffed in there from back when I was 14. There are a lot of good memories in that box.

    Today I added a husband to the box. As I put in mementos from burning man, valentines day cards and photo's i couldn't help but feel the first twinge of pain since we broke up. I do love him. I love him with my whole heart and soul. I just wished I liked him more. I am lonely here some times. It is hard living on my own for the first time ever and the break up doesn't make things easier.

    I really thought he and I would have made it if things hadn't been so hard from day one. I am just glad I got out before I wasted more of my time. I am glad I am at least letting myself feel it a little. I cried today for the first time since I moved out and it felt good to cry. I wanna be a different person. I wanna be happy again. I still want to find a man that wants to treat me right but I am going to work on me and maybe once I am in a better place people will notice and want to be around me.

     

    As I close the boyfriend box and put it away, I know i can look at that stuff anytime and feel the love that was there and that makes all the pain worth it. Do you have a boyfirend box?

Friday, 25 February 2011

  • I must be a shit magnet

    I swear I must have done some terrible things in my past life. I mean that is the only way I can explain why all of these terrible things are happening to me.

    The newest to add to this list is the trouble I got into at work based off of losing the office keys when I was beaten up. Apparently my irresponsibility has put this company’s security at risk accordingly to my CEO and the fact that I had a new key made for myself without permission is purely unacceptable. I was actually told by my CEO that if he wanted to he could have me put in jail for that AND he can sue Lowe’s Home Improvement store for making me a key when the original said ‘do not duplicate’.  

    This probably wouldn’t be such a major issue if someone hadn’t used a key to gain entry into our office and set off the alarms the other night which I am being held responsible for.  It probably doesn’t help that even though I told one of my bosses that all of my belongings and my keys were taken, I didn’t tell the CEO. It was brought to his attention after this incident.

    I also am in trouble for telling a co worker what happened to me instead of lying to them like I was asked to do.  Because I told the truth, I disobeyed a direct order from my bosses and I was told was insubordination and that I am lucky they didn’t fire me. I was also told that if I spoke to my coworkers again about anything in my personal life that I will be fired. 

    I feel like I can’t win. This is really not cool. My only consolation is if I am fired for any of these reason’s I might be eligible for a wrongful termination suit. This totally sucks. I love my damn job. I am good at what I do and I enjoy coming to work every day. I never let anything get in the way of me doing my job.  If only those things actually mattered in my bosses eyes. Good workers apparently are a dime a dozen.

    The only good things to happen to me lately have been me moving out and me hanging with an old friend. He has been such a nice distraction from everything. The only problem with that is that it is almost too nice if there is such a thing.  The first time I saw him after almost 9 years was so comfortable and exactly the way it used to be. He is still funny and sweet and very caring. I ended up staying the night with him and I must say it felt right.

    How could that be a bad thing you ask? I don’t know what he wants first of all like If we are going to be just friends or if he is picking up those old feelings from years ago.  This is important to know, I mean I can’t be acting in a way that could potentially hurt him or anything so I need to be mindful of that. Another reason that this could be a bad thing is for me.  I know I am attention starved and I am afraid maybe I am taking this attention and creating something that really isn’t there.  I feel like it is too soon to be having relationship feelings for someone so soon after my break up from my hubby.  I wouldn’t want this guy to be a rebound. He is way to special for that.

    I guess I will keep being happy about him being in my life because frankly he is and has always been someone I enjoy spending time with regardless of whether we were dating or not. I would hate to not have him around to make me laugh.

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

  • I am my mother

    When I was a kid all I ever wanted to be was around my mom. I idolized her. I knew she was doing bad things but she was my mom and I loved her anyways. I didn't really get much time with her. I had a brother with cancer so most of her time was spent with him in the hospital. I grew up with Grandma and my dad. I dont know how she did it. I couldn't imagine the pain she must have felt when he died.

    When she died I felt like I had been royally screwed. I was so angry.  I had waited years for her to sober up and come home and when she died 2 years later I couldn't help but feel cheated. For years we exchanged emails and she was this amazing mom. She gave me heart felt advice and showered me with praise and love. I couldnt wait to meet this woman. The mom I always knew was there. I was shocked when she had been in the country almost 2 months and she never once emailed, called or tried to contact me. My aunt called and told me. I was so hurt. I thought she had gotten better at being a mom.

    She carried a lot of pain. The stories I could tell you would shock most people. I was so proud of who she came to be. She was clean and sober 10 years. She got and maintained a job for the first time I have EVER seen. She was settling in. I figured i had the rest of my life to get to know this amazing woman. She would be there to be a grandma and help me when I had babies and that would be our bonding. It hurts me to think that she will never hold my child. They will never get to hear her silly stories and sing her crazy songs that just make you giggle.

    I am scared of forgetting her. Like one day it will be hard for me to remember the little things I loved. Its funny what triggers memories for me. The smell of her perfume is my favorite and when I smell it walking through a crowd and I am taken to mothers day one year when I was 7 and just remember being so happy. Today I was holding something in my hand and I realized that we have identicalal hands. I see my moms hands when I look at my own so I thought about it more and i realized that so many of my mannerisms are just like hers. When i look into the mirror its her face I see looking back at me.  I am becoming the woman I had for years wished I could be just like. I hope to God that I have better luck then she did. Only time will tell. So far I think I am doing significantly better.